Drop It, Doe Eyes...

So the government is still persistant in maintaining its heavy-handed campaign against drug users with this hilariously misjudged PSA warning of the dangers of drug-driving. I say misjudged partly because, if THAT'S what the police are looking for, then it's undoubtedly pretty safe to continue drug-driving, but mostly because it can't help but recall this classic TV moment:

Surely it would be much more effective simply to adopt the templates of ads warning against the dangers of alcohol abuse or smoking, which often feature extremely graphic depictions of the health risks. Instead, we get these laughable, cartoonish, ready-made internet memes (see also, the latest FRANK ad, which manages to make cannabis look like a deleted scene from A Scanner Darkly) that, rather than helping the cause, only serve to make the government the laughing stock of the very people these ads are supposed to target. Still, I suppose being a subject of ridicule for junkies is the least of Gordon's worries at the moment...

The Midweek Review: Coach Trip (Channel 4, Weekdays, 17:00

With the popularity of the voyeuristic end of reality television in apparent decline, producers have begun attaching their shallow tat to seemingly incongruous genres in order to spice things up a bit. Take Channel 4’s Come Dine With Me, for instance, whose blend of reality and cookery has proved a ratings success. One of the most surprising – and, frankly, most bizarre – hits to emerge from this phenomenon is sleeper hit Coach Trip, back on Channel 4 for a third series.

Coach Trip is the bastard offspring of a peculiar marriage between Wish You Were Here and Big Brother. The basic premise is as thus: a group of self-involved, lower-middle class pairings – lovers, friends, siblings, etc – travel around Europe on a coach, partaking in all manner of off-kilter activities (Tuesday’s episode, for instance, saw the group tasting wine in the cellars of a Liechtenstein Prince). At the end of each episode, the couples vote for who they would least like to continue the trip with. The couple with the most votes then receive a yellow card. As you would expect, two yellow cards means instant ejection from the coach. The next day, a new couple joins the group, and so the cycle continues.

The group is heralded by the mono-monikered tour guide Brendan. A remarkably ebullient character, Brendan’s role seems to be to criticise every aspect of the trip – a rather self defeating task, considering it’s his job to organise everything! Brendan is armed with a seemingly endless supply of sarcastic quips and sardonic putdowns, like a Jeremy Spake for the Noughties (remember him?).

Most of the couples are too dull to recollect. There are two, however, that stand out: Tom and Matt – two hyperactive, overgrown toddlers, who spent Tuesday’s episode riding through Switzerland on an abandoned bicycle, knocking back wine, and stumbling around a children’s playground – and “partial vegetarians” (no, I’ve no idea either) William and Deanne.

Deanne – picture Annie Mac in 15 years time – is rather nondescript, apart from her claims of psychic powers (something which, by her own admission, cannot be activated without the all-consuming spiritual energy that comes from... a tenner...). William, however, is on a completely different plane altogether. A genuinely disturbing presence, he has the chilling demeanour of a psychopath. He is incredibly soft spoken, with a seductively lilting Scottish voice, but certainly isn’t shy when it comes to speaking his mind. He resembles a particularly menacing Bond villain.

Naturally, he appears to have already begun to alarm his tourmates, as the pair are already the reluctant owners of one yellow card. One can only hope they can remain on the coach for as long as possible, or at least until William has frightened the rest of his dull holidaymaking peers away, the lush toned loony!

On first viewing, the show’s genre splicing doesn’t quite gel. The countries the group visit aren’t explored in enough detail, and there is too little focus on the couples for you to genuinely care who stays and who goes. However, the sheer incredulous horror of watching tedious twats making sods of themselves on holiday, getting drunk and singing mildly xenophobic chants, is surprisingly compelling, in an utterly sadistic manner. Coach-crash TV at its very worst..

Top 10 TV Shows, Part 4 (1)

Well, this is it: my all-time favourite television programme. Without further ado, the winner is:

1) Jam



My idol Chris Morris’ masterpiece, and quite possibly the most disturbing programme in television history. What it lacks in the biting satire of The Day Today and Brass Eye, it more than makes up for in severe headfuckery. Ostensibly a disparate collection of horrifyingly surreal sketches, Jam is much more than that – it’s the televisual equivalent of a nightmare. Originally broadcast without credits or commercial breaks (there are rumours that no advertiser would even go near the show), each show was broadcast on Channel 4 without a break. Add to this the show’s seemingly incongruent mix of obscured camera angles, distorted picture, and slowed-down camera speeds, and watching an episode of Jam is akin to the disorientation of when you wake up in the middle of the night, unaware of what time it is, and unable to discern your surroundings.



The show’s material is also equally lurid, a compelling mixture of horrendous terror and head-popping hilarity. Forget the Paedophile Special – this is Morris’ bravest achievement. Featuring sketches about dead babies, incestuous prostitution, abortion, eroticised rape, failed suicides, and televisions that spew out lizards, Jam not only oversteps the line, but brutally kicks the line into a bloody pulp. It may all sound horrific, but watching Jam is an experience no other television show offers. Watch one episode, and you’ll come away feeling guilty, ashamed, giddy, exultant, terrified, and disturbed in equal measure. And you can’t ask for much more than that, can you?



So, there you have it. For those who missed the previous posts, here is the top ten in full:

10) Monty Python's Flying Circus
9) The Thick Of It
8) The Armando Iannucci Shows
7) The Wire
6) The Daily Show
5) Weeds
4) The Day Today
3) I'm Alan Partridge
2) Later... With Jools Holland
1) Jam

Join us next week, when the blog will start proper.

Top 10 TV Shows, Part 3 (4-2)

Welcome back to this, a countdown of my favourite television programmes of all time. Let us continue:

4) The Day Today
The show that unwittingly unleashed unto the world Britain’s most dangerous broadcaster, the Godlike Chris Morris. Years before the infamous Brass Eye Paedophile Special, Morris and his cronies – including the previously mentioned Iannucci and Coogan – were unafraid to tackle any number of hot topics, from the IRA’s bombing campaign, to the media’s coverage of war. However, The Day Today’s real success was its aping of the template of television news. From Morris’ faux-Paxman anchorman, to the increasingly ludicrous computer graphics, it essentially, for better or worse, invented Sky News meaning, despite much of the show’s humour being heavily steeped in the mid-90s, the show hasn’t aged one iota.




3) I’m Alan Partridge
The perfect sitcom. Partridge himself, played to near-obscene levels of perfection by Steve Coogan, is arguably the most multifaceted comedy character of all time – one minute he can be an arrogant, sexist, utterly un-self aware bastard, the next a knowing, honest, ultimately loveable fool. The show also holds the title of the first truly postmodern sitcom of the celebrity age, showing the depths z-listers will sink to in order to maintain their infamy. As such, the show is much more prescient than it is given credit for. Rumours of a cinematic adaptation have recently been renewed – if it does go ahead, one can only hope it manages to reach the same heights its televisual predecessor managed.



2) Later... With Jools Holland
A surprise choice, perhaps, but name one other show that has managed to sustain a broadcasting legacy of nearly 20 years, whilst still acting as a platform for the world’s most obtuse, experimental performers. Yes, Holland’s presenting style is, some may say, shambolic, but that only adds to the show’s charm, like a familiar comfort blanket tucking you in on a cold Friday night. Later’s in-the-round mix of musical legends and newcomers creates a communal vibe that anyone can easily drop into, whether you're here to see the Mongolian throat singers, or the latest indie sensations. As a showcase for the world's greatest musical talents, it has not been and will never be beaten.

Please come back tomorrow to discover which show I consider to the greatest of all time...

Top 10 TV Shows, Part 2 (7-5)

Yesterday's post saw dead parrots, deceptive politicians, and destructive standard lamps make the list of my ten favourite television programmes of all time. What could possibly top that, I hear you cry? Let's find out:

7) The Wire
There’s not really much more I can add to the seemingly unremitting praise heaped on David Simon’s magnum opus. Needless to say, its depth is astonishing beyond words and, if you aren’t already, you should be watching it. If you are new to the show, don’t start watching it on BBC2 – The Wire’s plot unfolds on an episode-by-episode basis, and the show is packed to the rafters with complex characters, like the television equivalent of an intricate novel. As such, as BBC2 is already halfway through Season 2, there is no possible way you can catch up. Get the boxsets instead.



6) The Daily Show
American satirist Jon Stewart cuts through the crap of both liberal and conservative US news media in a show that is unquestionably more influential amongst young viewers than the rhetoric-heavy likes of Fox and MSNBC. There have been many attempts to create a British equivalent, but all lack the show's essential ingredient: Stewart himself. Backed by a team of likeminded comedians, including our own John Oliver, his passion for the truth allows his natural intelligence to shine through, without him ever seeming patronising. The Daily Show's late-night counterpart, The Colbert Report, has recently been axed over here by satellite channel FX, leaving its parent show’s future hanging in the balance. However, one hopes that the Daily Show doesn't befall the same fate – a TV schedule without Jon Stewart would be a very bleak scenario indeed. (Apologies for the quality of the video – it would appear that Comedy Central are very strict indeed when it comes to copyright infringement.)



5) Weeds
A far more authentic insight into the lifestyles of suburban America than Desperate Housewives could even attempt to dream of, as proven at the 2006 Golden Globes when, to the shock of everyone in the room (and indeed the country), the astonishing Mary-Louise Parker managed to beat each of the lead Housewives to the coveted Best Actress award for her astounding portrayal of middle-class dope dealer Nancy Botwin. Recently widowed, Botwin is forced to resort to selling soft drugs in order to maintain the comfortable lifestyle she and her kids have become accustomed to. Successfully treading the line between genuine heartbreak and jaw-dropping hilarity, Weeds is that rarest of beasts: a comedy-drama that actually achieves both elements of its label. (Again, apologies for the video – embedding is enabled on ALL videos featuring footage from Weeds.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKrB7weWCdU

Come back tomorrow to discover numbers 4-2.

Hello, Good Evening, and Welcome!

Hello and welcome, one and all, to this, the inaugural post of my blog, TV Wonder. Essentially, this blog will hopefully act as a companion guide to your viewing habits: from previews of the following week’s must-see programmes, to honest critiques of the previous week’s worst; from reappraisals of hidden gems, to the slaughtering of sacred cows. Everything you need to know about the glorious miracle of television can be found right here!

To start the proceedings, I thought I’d compile a list of my all time top 10 favourite shows, so as to give you a glimpse into the television that I enjoy, and that will most likely be receiving incessant praise on these pages. So, let’s begin:

10) Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Comedy features rather heavily in this chart, and what better place to start than with the progenitors of alternative humour. The Pythons acted as my introduction to the comedy landscape (well, after the Chuckle Brothers...). Their unique brand of hilarity works on so many levels – how many shows can dart from cartoon-like slapstick involving trout and dead parrots, to acerbic assessments of Britain’s dwindling class system? – it’s almost mind-boggling. Sure, perhaps some of the sketches have dated quite badly but, as a whole, the Pythons' body of work still stands up today as the blueprint for every successful sketch show that followed.



9) The Thick Of It
The first of several programmes from the astonishing genius of Armando Iannucci, The Thick Of It lays bare the politricks of Westminster. The show has taken on an almost prophetic quality – it predicted the Damien McBride ‘e-mail smear’ allegations a whole four years previous. Indeed, one need only look at the recent expenses scandal to realise just how frighteningly accurate Iannucci’s portrayal of government is. It could be an incredibly depressing viewing experience, if it wasn’t for the reliably razor-sharp wit infused within the writing.



8) The Armando Iannucci Shows
Iannucci’s eponymous masterpiece sees his rants against the neuroses of modern living interspersed with cynically satirical sketches targeting TV executives, the middle classes, and Cockneys. In hindsight, the show is a perfect reflection of its time, originally broadcast around 9/11. However, most people never got to judge this for themselves at the time – the show was often too dark for its own good, something most viewers would, perhaps quite rightly, want to avoid at a time of mass international mourning. As such (and also due to the fact that one episode featured a graphic plane crash), the show was pushed later and later in the listings, to the point where, the morning after watching the show, I would wake up for school bleary-eyed, but all the more enlightened for the sacrifice. It recently became available on DVD, so be sure to check it out.

Be sure to come back tomorrow to discover my 7th, 6th, and 5th favourite shows of all time. And, indeed, feel free to subscribe in order to keep abreast of all the latest goings on in the world of TV.